Every day at lunch time, they would have a sippy cup of milk. Oh, the twin girl absolutely loved milk, she drank it like she was dehydrated. She would again demand with an “Eh eh.” I would say “Milk” “You want milk.” She would shake her head yes. I said “Yes” “OK.” I got it for her, put it down and said “That’s Milk, say Milk please.” She would say “Miwlk Pwease.” I praised her like crazy I gave her I high five and had a great big smile on my face and said “Good.” The boy twin caught on much faster and that’s okay. As long as I would work with them everyday, they began talking more and more.

They were evaluated by a speech therapist. The speech therapist gave them a good report, that they are fine and don’t need any such services. They perform well in other areas and their speech didn’t seem to be a concern.

For some reason, the alphabet didn’t really interest them at all. I thought that was kind of strange since children usually get a kick out of it. However, I would play an alphabet song from the computer and they loved it. They would try to sing along and danced to the music.

I would show them letters and numbers. I would go over it with them constantly. If I wore a shirt that day with letters on it, I would ask them, and they would tell me what letters they were. Sometimes I would help them, but many times they did it all on their own. They even said the letters without me asking. I didn’t put on the TV much, but when I did, it would be so they could watch “Super why” which goes over many of the letters in a fun way. I would point out the letters and they would mostly do it on their own. They eventually caught on and started talking more and more each day. Each day, there was something new, a new word, a new letter, a new number or a new object. I noticed the, “Eh Eh’s”  became less and less and was replaced by actual words.

The bottom line is, you have to read, read, read to your children! Make sure you read to them every day, a couple times, and before bed. Children like to see visual pictures, and books help them correlate words with the pictures they belong to and letters and objects that belong together. They begin to learn the meaning behind words and the depth of their character. Teach them what your handing them (milk for example), praise them when they learn it. Encourage them and support them along the way. Consistently work with them a couple or more hours a day, when you are repetitive and consistent, children will learn. Don’t be upset if they don’t catch on right away, if they don’t get it today, maybe they’ll get it tomorrow or the next day, but keep working with them. Don’t just give in to their gibberish because it’s easier, it’s not easier, you want them to be able to communicate. You need them to communicate with you. You need to be able to understand your children and meet their needs. Otherwise it’s just frustrating for all of you!  

Encourage children to tie their shoes, zip their jackets up (if they need you to get it started, that is absolutely fine), serve themselves food and pour their own drink. You are not making things easier by doing things for them, they need to learn to be independent.

Here is a list of possible responsibilities to encourage:

Hang up coat

Set the table

Clear the table

Water plants

Feed pets

Help cook

Turn on/off computer

Help with clean up

Use the bathroom on their own

Wash hands

brush teeth and hair

Make bed

Put on pj’s

Put on shoes

Put away books where they belong

Put away all toys where they belong (You can say “I’ll help you,” if they give you a hard time and if it’s alot to put away).

When you give children successful opportunities they will develop a great sense of self. Make it a point to make your child feel good about themselves. Let them know you accept them with verbal and nonverbal cues.

Children imitate everything you do. So, be sure to model safe behavior, demonstrate safe behavior. Children will be more likely to copy your safe behavior, than doing it because you told them to.

At lunch time, when your cutting chicken, for example, you can say “See, when I cut your chicken, I point the knife away from me, so I don’t get cut.” Identify what your doing and explain you are doing it to be safe.

Teach children how to use the scissors, model to them how you hold them at the bottom. When you see them holding them the right way, say “(child’s name) I like how you are being safe with the scissors, good job!”

Give them choices: Yes that’s right “You can either take a nap or read a book quietly, those are your choices.” When you give them choices it makes them feel independent and responsible.

You as the parent need to model good behavior: If he or she says “NO!, I don’t want to.”
For example: putting away toys: You could say: “Here, I can help you.” (Maybe it is ALOT of toys to put away and he/she is overwhelmed..plus you are modeling good behavior.) I call it the “Helping Technique.” It really does work. 

Whatever you do, PLEASE do NOT yell, scream or hit. It will get you absolutely no where-I dont care how you were raised. Instead of losing your cool, get down to your child’s level, make eye contact and in a FIRM voice say “That is NOT okay.” 

Example: Michael hit Max

Teacher: (in an empathetic/caring voice)”Max,That must have really hurt, turn and look at Michael, tell him how that made you feel”

Max: “That really HURT!” then you could say “He said that really hurt him, so please don’t hurt my friends, that is not okay.”

Michael: “Ok”

 It ((acknowledges)) the hurt child’s feelings and helps him to express his feelings …and…. the other child learns it’s not okay to hit and how it effects his friends.

Your child WILL learn that he gets more praise and attention with good behavior….. and negative behavior gains him nothing! So you must always stay consistent when enforcing the rules.

Whatever you do, no matter how loud they’re screaming and kicking and how long they do it for…ignore it. Ignore the negative behavior. The more attention you give to it, the worse it gets and the harder it is for you.

YOU are your child’s NUMBER 1 ROLE MODEL….so when you get heated scream your head off and/or hit…you are showing him it is okay to do those things…he/she will only feed off your reaction. Your child need’s a positive role model not someone to be scared of.

Every chance you get PRAISE your child for good behavior, through high 5’s, a great big hug, A”Great job” “Im so proud of you, you really worked hard today!” It really makes them feel good about themselves……

With LOTS of patience and consistency with rules and guidelines, praise and choices,  these techniques CAN work.
Children will test your limits, no doubt, but with consistency and patience it can be done!